#1 - Responding to Bad Possibilities

How do we think about terrible news like what's happening in Ukraine?

I didn’t intend to start off these Notes with such a heavy topic, but as I write, Russia is invading Ukraine, people are dying, children are fleeing for their lives, and I feel odd hosting a “Dream House Drawing Contest” on instagram or doing anything lighthearted at all.

What do I even do with my heartbreak for people in these countries? What is the future going to look like? What kind of world will my kids raise their own kids in?

My husband has been following geopolitics for awhile now, not out of boredom or intellectual curiosity, but because over a dozen families rely on his pressure washing business for their income. How do we care for our people, our neighbors, and our own family if global conflicts tank the economy and threaten our freedoms? That is, practically speaking, an important question.

I’ve got some thoughts on all this, and I think by the end you’ll actually be encouraged. (P.S. This isn’t a political post.)

Why It’s Okay to Think About Bad Possibilities

It can be dangerous for our mental health to think about the “what if’s”, especially if we have bad anxiety.

Also, our hearts and minds aren’t designed to bear the burdens of the whole world. If we spend too much time thinking about the pain of others, we’ll just wallow in a heap of sorrow.

However, sometimes we have to ask ourselves the “what if’s” so we can be comforted by the “even if’s.”

Sometimes we need to imagine our lives without security and comfort so that we don’t take those things for granted now, and so we prepare ourselves for if we don’t have them in the future.

If it’s possible that my kids grow up (or that their kids grow up) in a time of great war, injustice, climate catastrophe, and shortages, then what can I do to help them be the kind of people who would thrive?

How can I help them be the kind of people who are full enough to pour out love and service for others?

Questions like that (even if we don’t have kids) are why it’s worth it to think about bad news, because that informs how we spend our days.

Wartime Lifestyle

I’m not a prepper at all, at least not in any hoarding sense. I don’t have any stored-up supplies or a garden or anything.

But mentally, I want to be prepared for life to be less comfortable. I want to be ready for closed facilities and empty shelves (which Covid gave us some glimpses of.)

Believe it or not, thinking about the bad possibilities has significantly helped my mental health.

At the end of last summer after our move, I felt very stressed out by a lot of small things—like paint color and furniture and toddler whining—and I was sinking into cycles of arguments with my husband, cloudy thoughts, and stormy emotions.

However, at one point my husband and I realized together that we are not the enemy. Our kids on their worst days are not the enemy. The inefficiencies of my home are not the enemy.

(It’s quite similar to how, in our polarized politics, we forget that fellow Americans are not the enemy, but authoritarian dictators are.)

There could be really hard times on the horizon, and I would deeply regret agonizing over small things if I had these peaceful times taken away.

Some things are worth causing drama over. Some small things do really matter. Besides, even if I shouldn’t be fretting about little things, God cares about all of my feelings and burdens. Every bit of them.

But it’s very freeing to move past entitlement into purpose. And that’s what one of the things that bad possibilities can do for us.

Practically Speaking

So, what are some things we can do in response to bad possibilities?

• Take time to be sad and grieve for the people who are currently suffering (and see if there’s anything we can do to help)

• Learn how to cook for ourselves and be resourceful with ingredients

• Find more joy in activity, learning, and service than numbing ourselves with entertainment

• Prioritize our mental and physical health and ask ourselves hard questions

• Find ways to have fun and thrive with what we have

• Shop local and gain more independence from imported goods

• Encourage our kids to be brave, kind, and steadfast

• Enjoy our people and let them know that we don’t take them for granted

Do you know how Jesus spent his last night before He was killed? He spent it eating, drinking, talking with his friends, and washing their feet. It’s surprisingly simple and mundane. Shockingly humble.

And, as a Christian, in light of this bad news, I want to pray and know God’s Word more than ever. It feels good that my feelings of fear don’t have to terminate with self-resolve alone, but that I can ask for help and trust Him.

I can be comforted by the same words, truths, and Spirit that have comforted people thousands of years before me who were imprisoned, betrayed, guilty, grieving, rejoicing, tortured, sick…or dealing with any other kind of emotion or circumstance.

Because He Lives

While driving to church a few weeks ago, my husband and I discussed all the bad things that could happen in the future, and how it was distressing but also comforting that we didn’t feel too scared to think about it. A few minutes later, while holding my toddler tightly and thinking about some “what if’s”, we sang these lyrics that I had never noticed before:

“How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and the joy he gives
But greater still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives.”

What a comfort.

Anyway, these Notes are not supposed to be this long or serious, but I hope you found some comfort or encouragement here. You can always reply to this email and let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading!

Love,

Hope