5 Comforting Thoughts About Forehead Wrinkles
confessions of insecurity (and hope)
When I was in about eighth grade, I remember buying a disposable camera, slathering on some lip gloss, and taking a bunch of selfies. It was very 2006. When I developed the photos and expected to see the coolest-looking girl in Florida, I felt some panic instead. Oh, I thought. I’m not very pretty after all. Commence self-image issues.
In the years since then, I have come to a healthier understanding of appearance. After having babies and gaining some weight, I’ve learned to work through body-image mindsets, too. I prize inner beauty. If I only have 15 minutes in the morning and I have to choose between doing my makeup or doing something for my soul or for others, I think I’d be overall prettier throughout the day if I chose the latter.1 Countenance over appearance.
At least that’s how I felt. Then I approached my thirtieth birthday and *scary music* noticed a couple wrinkles.
Since then, I—a woman who has prided herself in not being shallow—find my eyes constantly wandering to people’s foreheads. My brain swirls with thoughts like, Shes’s in her late forties and I know she hasn’t had botox, but her forehead is still smooth. How do I have more wrinkles than her? What kind of a hag am I going to look like in ten years if I’m already this bad!?
I’m just being honest. You’ve probably thought things like that too? (And if any of you, dear readers, dares to leave a “Oh, stop it, you’re pretty!” compliment, I’m going to be bothered 😜)
So how do I deal with this whole aging thing? Yes, it’s my fault for never wearing sunglasses and moisturizing very rarely. I should be drinking more water and consuming more collagen; yep, I get it. According to my instagram ads, I should even be doing face yoga or wearing wrinkle-preventing patches every day.2
But…aging happens eventually. Here are five things that are helping me not feel like I’m past my prime:
1. Aging is a privilege.
There are countries today where the average life expectancy is mid-50’s. If I’m scared of looking worse as I double and possibly triple my lifespan, I’m being ignorant of what a gift it is to even expect that I could grow old. I don’t want to take that for granted.
As the proverb says, “Gray hair is a crown of glory.” Having more time to be wise and to love others is not a bad thing. It’s okay if I get old (and if my body shows it.)
2. Reminders of our mortality don’t need to be scary.
Some of my favorite people on earth are atheists but I’m just being frank here: if you think this life is all there is, that affects how you view beauty. Any Memento mori (a reminder of our own mortality) is terrifying if this existence—and this body—is the best it gets! Of course we must protect our youthful appearances at all costs if we don’t want our wrinkles and sagging skin to remind us that we are going to die eventually! But what if we don’t believe that?
Since I don’t hold to a this-is-all-there-is theology, I shouldn’t let it drive how I think about my own face. (See my posts on the afterlife: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.)3 I’m actually excited about what comes after this, so wrinkles are kind of a reminder of my hope in Christ anyway? “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”4
3. How did I get these wrinkles anyway?
Recently, I looked in the mirror and tried different facial expressions to see what paths have become a bit well-worn. Oh! It’s when I raise my eyebrows.
So many things interest me and make me flex those frontalis muscles. I don’t regret all the times that I have made a delighted and interested face.5
If you are old enough for wrinkles, you’ve been able to do many good things again and again. You’ve been able to love a lot of people and laugh a lot of times. You’ve probably also cried a lot of tears, too, but those have all been times when you might’ve been comforted and strengthened by God, too.
4. People are the ultimate reflective surface.
And that leads us to a big point. Have you ever thought about how weird and historically unprecedented it is to see our own faces so frequently? Look at a mirror from a couple hundred years ago! It’s not a super clear view. And before that…people used metal, water, and other reflective surfaces.
Allow me to share a clip from a documentary.
Jennifer Pharr Davis completed the Appalachian Trail three times (the last of which set the 2011 record for the fastest AT hike!) Listen to her thoughts on not seeing her reflection while hiking:
“I didn’t carry a mirror, and I didn’t have billboards or magazines or commercials telling me what I should look like. For five months, my reflection was my interaction with other hikers. And if I was kind or if I was funny, if I could make someone else smile, it made me feel pretty.” -Jennifer Pharr Davis, Into America’s Wild documentary
Wow wow wow. Imagine seeing the faces of others as the most accurate mirror. How do I make people feel? I want to expend more energy on that than on freaking out about lines on my face.
5. I know some wonderful wrinkly people.
How many times have you said, “Oh, so-and-so is wonderful, but I don’t really want to spend time with her because she’s just too haggard.” Never! No one ever says that.
I have spent a lot of time with some people in their 80s who love me deeply and crack me up constantly. It is not possible for something like wrinkles to be a deterrent in their relationships or their happiness. If I could end up as awesome as them someday, having wrinkles is most certainly not a worst-case scenario.
I almost said that I haven’t noticed a difference between a person’s joy and their appearance, but…happy people do look good. There is a correlation. But I don’t think it’s the appearance that’s driving the train, but the joy.
Joy looks good on people. And all the face yoga in the world can’t give you that.
When we feel ugly, we can show ourselves extra extra grace because, like, the human mind maybe wasn’t designed to see as many symmetrical and altered faces as we do? Maybe we weren’t designed to see our own faces as clearly as frequently, either?
There are better ways to indicate our reflection than mirrors. Like the faces of the people we give our attention to.
I hope this helps.
Love,
Hope
P.S. I should add that I do feel pretty most of the time. And I’m not against selfies. Here’s one from last week to prove it 😉❤️
It should be said that I usually pick a third option: waste time on Wikipedia.
I refuse to link to these products but trust me, they exist 😜
2 Corinthians 4:16
This is a very small point though because eventually I’ll get frown lines and I don’t want to feel too guilty about what faces I made to earn those 😬
I love this post, particularly the point about appearance being best reflected in how we interact with others. This is so opposite to the almost constant beauty culture that beckons focus on self and discontent. Also, instead of trying to preserve youth, something that is inevitably fleeting, we can ask, how are we spending it? Becoming a mom has definitely changed my body and appearance, but what better way to spend my one precious body? I want to think about how I can spend my youth (what’s left of it 😉) thank you for sharing about this important topic. Your joy radiates, Hope!
I tell myself that frown lines are from concentrating really hard.