Hello. I have an amusing, sad, and strange story for you today.
I’ve shared before about a restaurant here in Chattanooga that has great food and super cool vibes that is run by a commune and church…and that would possibly be considered a cult. According to a Hulu documentary about them (episode 6 of Cults and Extreme Beliefs) they are, yes, a cult. I have very little interest in Hulu documentaries, however, and I wanted to err on the side of graciousness and not make firm judgments about them just because they’re devout. They just seemed like happy hippies who make good food and have different religious preferences than me.
We were always treated with warm welcomes and people happy to explain their lifestyle to us. They would invite us to their services, and we would tell them we go to a different church. However, I’ve started to see their dark side.
The Shift
Gradually, we started noticing that the conversations were shorter and the service was very slow. There have been noticeably fewer smiles. Lately we’ve had to go up to the servers—who are unpaid volunteers who live in the commune—and ask them to take our order. When we ate there on Sunday, those of us who ordered chili didn’t receive our food until everyone else was done with theirs.
That night, three of my kids and I got sick. Like, so sick that I ate almost nothing for two days after. So sick that I now fit into pants that didn’t fit last week. 😬
I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what made us sick until two other people who had lunch with us that day had the same experience. “The chili was the last thing he threw up,” one friend said of her husband. So, well, we know how we got sick.
It would be unfair to accuse this restaurant of intentionally poisoning our food. They almost certainly didn’t do that. I will say that I’m not going to go back there, at least for a long while. And thinking about all this made me realize that since we aren’t interested in joining their religion, they aren’t interested in us anymore.
Am I in a cult?
Since I am also devout in my beliefs—and because many people who grew up in the church like I did now explain their childhoods as “being raised in a cult”—I have to ask myself, “Am I in a cult? Am I raising my kids in a cult? Am I just as misguided as these people who now dislike me because I’m not a potential convert?”
Here’s the wonderful, freeing thing about where I’m at with Jesus right now: I can say “maybe I am misguided” and explore those doubts.
I know that if God is who the Bible says He is, He can handle all my questions. When scriptures rub me the wrong way, I can explore them and ponder on them and wrestle with them, and God isn’t going to shrink away saying, “Gahhh, I’ve never thought of this before and I have no response!”
When I have doubts, I don’t need to avoid people who believe differently than me for fear that their beliefs will contaminate mine.
I don’t have to be afraid of being shunned forever if we leave the church for awhile.
I don’t have to raise my kids to know all the right answers so they’ll never waver from their faith.
I don’t have to have hidden, evangelizing motives in my relationships. I actually think God calls us to much more than “making converts”—Jesus seemed to prioritize good works more than preaching—so I hope that people never feel like we treat them differently because we’re trying to get them to “join us.”
This week I was reading Philippians 1 and I was struck by Paul’s prayer that the people he was writing to would have discernment. He asked God to help them “approve of the things that are superior.” To know what’s good. We can’t always assume that we’re automatically on the right side because we feel like we’re on the right side.
Most of all, my main attachment has never been to a specific church or even to a belief system but to a person. I really believe in Jesus. Though I haven’t seen Him, I know Him. I could be wrong about that, of course, but it’s been a couple decades and I seem to love Him—and not just the idea of Him—more and more, especially through the hard stuff.
Conclusion
Anyway, I share all this because 1) the cult chili story/theory is kinda interesting 🤪, and 2) maybe you wonder if you’re on the “misguided” side of history because of your beliefs but no Christians have encouraged you to figure out if you’re really stuck in a cult or not. Whelp, here’s a Christian telling you: maybe you are. Figure it out. If the object of your faith is real, your questions won’t be able to destroy it.
You know the great thing about following a Man who was a picture of humility? We get to be humble. We get to say “I don’t know” and “I haven’t figured that out” and “I’m struggling” and that’s actually considered strength. It’s really nice.
Love,
Hope