Your Needs Are A Delight

wait what?

Apr 21, 2023

You know how sometimes your heart is really tender, and something you’ve probably heard before just knocks you off your feet when you see it at the right time?

That happened when I signed onto Instagram on Easter morning after my social media break and saw this post by Pete Scazzero: “It is good that you exist. You have nothing left to prove. You are loveable. You are a joy. It is human to make mistakes. Your needs are a delight.”

That last line just about knocked me over.

“Your needs are a delight.”

I repeated it to myself like I was Tarzan trying to comprehend basic English. My…needs…are…a…delight? When I’m struggling, whether it’s having lack emotionally, financially, physically, or whatever, I don’t want to disrupt anyone and their own problems more than I have to. Everyone’s life is hard and no one needs an extra burden.

Besides…feeling needy is awful. I want to be the one to have all kinds of leftover abundance to give, not the one to feel helpless sometimes.

Allergic to Neediness

I spent my twenties being quite needy. In that decade, I spent 46 months being pregnant, 77 months breastfeeding, and precisely 0 months sleeping through the night or feeling like I had my act together. (I reflected more on that decade of motherhood on Family Scripts the other day.)

It felt terrible when I broke my foot in the third trimester and had to have my mom push me around in a wheelchair. It felt terrible to have to ask my Mammaw to babysit all my little ones just so I could go to the dentist. It felt terrible to be so weak during a couple births that other women had to hold my legs and basically have my baby for me.

All my neediness since then has been demoralizing, too. It doesn’t feel good when friends clean my kitchen for me because I didn’t get that done before hosting (though I’m very grateful.) It feels terrible to send an SOS, please-pray-for-me text to a trusted loved one when I’m struggling emotionally.

But it’s not the worst to have needs. Do you know what’s the worst? The delusion of self-sufficiency. Pride is the actual worst.

And if I’m given circumstances where I’m being spared of pride? Those circumstances can’t be all bad. I need to get over my aversion to this.

Actually A Delight?

Let’s get back to the my-needs-are-a-delight thing. The context of those powerful statements was that the good news of Jesus makes all these things true. It’s insulting to hear that we might actually need someone to save us from ourselves, but if that is the reality, then I want to know about this savior and how he feels about saving me.

Joy. That’s how He feels about it, biblically speaking. He rescued me because he delighted in me1. He rejoices over me with singing.2 He presents me before His presence blameless and with great joy.3 Jesus actually likes taking our burdens4. The Holy Spirit actually likes helping us5. God the Father actually likes comforting us...even like a nursing mother.6

In one of my journaling Bibles, I would jot down “#GodFeels” in the margins whenever I noticed God showing emotion. Yes, it’s weird to write hashtags for your own reference 😅, but that concept is very formative to pay attention to. God isn’t some emotionless butler (or judge) in the sky. God feels.

And one thing I know about Jesus is that, at His very heart7, He loves to meet my needs. He already knows I would have them. He’s not disappointed that I keep floundering about in poor choices and messy emotions.

Believing this has helped me believe that maybe other people don’t hate helping me, either. I sure like to help my friends. It’s a blessing and privilege to do so. The door to true intimacy can only be opened by having needs that you can’t meet yourself. Relationships get a lot richer when you realize that neither of you is enough; that’s the whole point of having relationships!

I hope this helps. I hope you have friends who help you and allow you to help them. And I hope you allow yourself to believe that, especially to Jesus, your needs are a delight. Ask and you will receive, that your joy will be full.8

Love,

Hope

P.S. Here are some pics from the past couple weeks!